if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
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If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
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His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Holy shit dude........stairs
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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