FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize