booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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