Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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