btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
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She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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