I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize