im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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