I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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