You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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