I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
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I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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