i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize