before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
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I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
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He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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