to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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