So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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