Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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