He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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