Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
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My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
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I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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