hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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