How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
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She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
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They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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