i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
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