why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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