I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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