i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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