Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I don't think brook has ever known best
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
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I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
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Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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