I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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