Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize