the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
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Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
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THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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