She said her name was "party"
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize