You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize