He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize