So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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