I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
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