While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize