i'm signing you up for texting rehab
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
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