An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize