if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
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Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
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Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
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