If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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