We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What changed your mind?
Being sober
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize