i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a pop up book from hell.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize