one two three fourrrrnication!
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize