The maid of honor just puked.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize