To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
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This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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