After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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