just tell him i said nine months
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
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She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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