is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
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How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
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I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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