your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize