I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
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and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
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It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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