i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize