Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
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The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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