whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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