I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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