WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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